Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
