im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
