TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
