i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
