Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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