: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
