Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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