she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
