My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize