I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
