umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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