I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
God I need to hump something, right now.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
