sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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