the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
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