"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
