He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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