the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm having to shit out rocks
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