I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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