"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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