I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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