So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
