Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
