He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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