k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
