whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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