Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize