Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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