it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I smell like Dick and happiness
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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