I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
