we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize