We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
