I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
