You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Randomize
