so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
