In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
