Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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