I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
