White coat. Heels.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
