I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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