Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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