Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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