All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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