It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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