So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
