Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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