Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
