She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I need water and some morals
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
