My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
