Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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