How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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