I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize
