none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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