I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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