i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
