i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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