I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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