Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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