the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize