it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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