With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
