hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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