First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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