Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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