Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
