That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
