Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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