You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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