Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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