Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
