dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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