I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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