are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
