Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
