My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
