he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
