He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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