I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
